In modern society, the “head of the household” seems almost as outdated as the absolute monarch. Especially in a home with two adults (or even three or more, as in some multi-generational families), most people stiffen at the idea of being relegated to an “inferior” position. Even when a household comprises one parent with young children, kids may rebel at unquestioningly obeying Mom in all things.
In some ways, this development is for the better. One reason the “head of household” fell out of favor was that there were too many swelled-up “heads” demanding all the privileges of being in charge while accepting few of the responsibilities. If your kids “won’t do as I say,” you may be getting what you deserve if:
No one of any age feels cooperative when treated as if they had no feelings, intelligence, or rights.
For all that, someone has to organize the basic household structure and make the occasional final decision. If you’re in the position of household leader, through mutual agreement or by default of being the only adult, you (and the household) will function more effectively if you take seriously your responsibility to:
You may notice that all these points involve appreciating your children as intelligent individuals, even if they’re under your authority for now. They won’t be part of your household forever, but if you’re an effective leader and a loving parent, they’ll be glad to keep in touch long after they’re at the heads of their own households!