Happiness: Are you lacking? It shows!

Happiness: Are you lacking? It shows!


One of the things that many parents suffer from is a lack of happiness. You may not think that others can see it, but it shows. I work with parents and adults all the time who feel that something is lacking or that they wish they had other skills, traits, abilities, or things. Is this you?

I have learned that the answer to this problem is to handle the situations in your life in the way that the person who you want to be would handle them. If you acted like that person, you will be able to concentrate on your strengths and focus on them. Then, you will be able to compensate for the weakness you have identified. When you do this, it will be easier to see the areas that you want to develop in your own character and take the action steps necessary to make those changes.

Do you question your decisions, making it difficult to be truly happy? Let the ‘you in the present’ be validated in the decision you have made. Decide you will not be disappointed in your current choices, knowing that you have made the best possible choices at this time with the information that you have. Act like the person you want to be – confident of your choices and without regret.

Part of being happy is to like yourself and your decisions. Your self-esteem will increase and you will find that it is easier to set and achieve realistic goals when you trust yourself and like who you are enough to move forward.

Be optimistic. It isn’t always easy, but it makes a difference in your body awareness, your actions, your energy for taking on new tasks, and the limitations that you do or do not set for yourself. Pay attention to the types of music you listen to, the books you read, and the movies you watch. Choose things that will build you up and encourage the optimism that you are seeking so that you can become the person you envision.

Another tool for happiness is to be active. When you are actively involved in things that you enjoy, time has no limitations – you are in FLOW! Flow happens when you’re doing what you love; time just seems to pass and hours feel like minutes. You could enjoy that activity endlessly. Look for ways to add these activities into your day.

Also, stay in control. When you stay in control, there is a balance to your life. You are better equipped to respond to events as opposed to react. A response involves maintaining control and is usually a planned and timely action. A reaction is unplanned and unpredictable, and usually sets off a chain of events that have consequences, are regrettable, and out of control.

Volunteering is an excellent way to increase happiness and almost always benefits the volunteer as well as the recipient.

Lastly, resolve those inner conflicts. For example, either lose those last ten pounds, or be happy and content with the body you have. Wasting time on the struggle is counterproductive to the changes you are making in other areas.