Goal Setting: Fight the Fear and Get Smart
When I hit my 30s, I had a ‘revelation’, for lack of a better word. I realized that there is incredible value in setting goals and actually sticking to them.
What is the #1 thing that keeps us from achieving the goals we set for ourselves? FEAR.
FEAR is ‘False Evidence Appearing as Real’ and many times that is all that it takes to stop us in our tracks before we even get started.
Because of my beliefs on fitness and health, I have also worked with others in helping them to set physical goals. I can remember one situation where a friend of mine was trying to lose weight for a wedding. The basic reason why they had not been successful in the past was the supporting family and friends did not believe that they could do it. In trying to protect her from failure, they told her so. This fear (and their lack of support) had been stopping her from even trying.
After studying the works of Napoleon Hill, it has become increasingly obvious to me that to accomplish what I want, I need to focus on it, commit it to memory, and act upon it immediately. One of the terms that Hill uses is Definiteness of Purpose. This term refers to the total commitment to a goal, both daily thought and action given over to an attainable end result. Definiteness of Purpose describes how I want to parent and hope you will want to parent this way, too.
To begin this process, you need to decide on your specific goals and write them down. Commit them to memory, and then decide how you plan to achieve them. But most importantly, take action.
Remember my friend who was hindered in her efforts to lose weight? Parents, do not stop your children from dreaming BIG. Let their goals reflect what is truly in their heart and passion to achieve. Even if they do not reach those goals immediately, it is important to not put limits on goal setting, for your children and yourself.
Let’s talk about ‘smart’ goals. First, they must be specific. This means you must detail exactly what you want. For example, it is not enough to say, “I want to lose weight.” You must state exactly how much weight you want to lose.
Goals must be measurable. In order to determine success, you need to measure where you start and where you end.
All successful goals require action. If you do not change the behavior, the odds that you are going to attain your goal are pretty slim. So, if you continue to eat the same kinds of food and do not exercise, the chance that you will lose weight is not good.
Goals also need to be relevant and realistic. A goal of 50 lbs. in a week is obviously not very realistic; on the other hand, you must push yourself within limits.
And lastly, they must be time specific. This helps to set the parameters within which to focus your energies on this goal. You may have long-term and short-term goals that you are working towards at the same time, but always give yourself a date or deadline for each goal.
Here is your challenge; sit down and write out 10 goals for yourself, and help your children to do the same. Write these out every day, and practice the habit of committing these to memory and taking action. It has been said that you must do something faithfully for 21 days to make it a habit, so I challenge you to do this for one month – every day, and even on weekends. Who knows? You might be surprised where you are in one month!